Time for the death penalty

I’ve never been a huge advocate for capital punishment especially in cases where there’s even a one-percent chance of executing an innocent person. To me, there’s no greater crime than executing an innocent human being.
But I’m going to be honest with ya’ll, when they catch the fools opening up ice cream in grocery stores, licking the top and then putting them back on the shelf, I say we fry their sorry arses.
How trifling can a human being be?
I guess they’ve caught other folks on camera spitting mouthwash back into the bottle and returning it to the shelf. Now other dumb arses are being copycats and doing the nasty with other sorts of food items.
I know we’re not a third world country but, in my opinion, that’s a third world crime. They should be treated like third world criminals.
I mean, that’s just nasty. Murderers on death row are disgusted by this nonsense.
What we should do is find all these idiots and then locate their parents and bring them in for questioning. If you raise a child that grows up to be that damn disrespectful, you should lose some of your human privileges, too.
I try not to judge but if your child opens up a box of Blue Bell, licks it, giggles and puts it back on the shelf, Sir, Ma’am, you did something wrong.
I saw an old lady in Brookshires eating grapes once. I felt sorry for her and pretended I didn’t see her when she noticed me. At least she was eating them and not putting them back for others to grab. But that was bad enough.
But what these people are doing is a hundred times worse. They’re not hungry. They’re just disrespectful, disgusting bastards.
I’m sorry for the salty language but this really burns my bacon. Speaking of, thank God bacon comes in a sealed package. As it is, I won’t buy any more ice cream that isn’t sealed by plastic. And I love me some Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate.
These fools have changed the way I shop. And, they think it’s funny.
I don’t know what the charge is for what they did but it needs to at least be a felony. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if it was punishable by death.
Nasty bastards.