"Yea though I walk through the Valley of Death, I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left."
This lyric from Coolio's hit song, "Gangster's Paradise," rings clearly in my mind from time to time. As a man who has now entered into his fifth decade, it resonates with me. I can easily imagine what it would be like to see my days on earth coming to an end and not be satisfied with how I lived them.
It's my greatest fear.
Not death.
But, dying without leaving any sort of a mark.
I have no children. It wasn't my plan to never marry or have a family of my own. It just worked out that way. I don't regret it. Other than having no one to name as my next of kin, I'm happy being a bachelor. But, obviously, that is an empty spot on my life's resume.
Early on in my career as a sports writer, I thought I might be making a difference in a few lives. Through my work, I tried to inspire, encourage and/or enlighten. And, truly, I believe I impacted some lives, even if just for a short time.
But, encouraging a girl to play high school basketball is hardly a life-altering accomplishment. I've written about hundreds of youth. But, once they become adults and venture out into their own worlds, my impact on their lives fades into just a distant blip on their screen.
Fifty years old and what have I accomplished? How did I make the world a better place while I was here?
Maybe I can still leave a mark. Perhaps I can still touch someone's life in such a way, they'll be impacted long after I'm gone.
I wake up every day thankful that I'm not yet walking through the Valley of Death. I can still look at my life and know there's still some left.
