Two years ago, my father's birthday was approaching and for the first time, he was planning to celebrate. He got together with our church and planned a huge fish fry and hamburger cookout. He invited all of his friends and we had family members coming from out of state.
My father's health had been failing him for a couple of years but, planning this event seemed to revitalize him. He had me pricing fish in the stores. We bought a huge cast iron pot and had a bunch of hamburger buns and canned soft drinks at the ready.
Unfortunately, when his birthday arrived, my dad was in the hospital, rushed to the emergency room after collapsing in his home. In all the excitement, my dad did what the doctors told him not to do, he over-exerted himself.
We circled around his hospital bed and sang him Happy Birthday. Considering all the family members who came in for him, it did turn out to be a decent day. I saw cousins for the first time in years.
My dad, however, was broken hearted. As he lay in the hospital bed, he looked up and apologized.
"I sure messed this up, didn't I?" he said.
That's my dad. I love the dude.
Last night, he passed away in his sleep. His health kept getting worse and worse. He was at the point where he could barely get around.
For a man who was fiercely independent his entire life, this was miserable for him. My dad loved to hunt and fish and spent his life working and playing in the woods. When his health wouldn't allow him to do that anymore, he had a hard time dealing with it.We actually had to sell his tractor because he wouldn't stop getting on it.
A couple days before he died, my dad told his wife Pearlie, "I can't do nothing. I don't want to live like this."
When he couldn't do what he loved to do, couldn't live his life the way he wanted to live it, he decided it was time to go.
He's probably looking down at me right now, talking to my mom saying, "I sure messed this up, didn't I?"
That's my dad. I miss the dude.
By the way dad, you didn't mess anything up. I love you man.
